The other day, I went to a fireworks festival for the first time in 11 years. In recent years, the scorching summer heat combined with the worsening of my ME symptoms had made me almost give up on seeing fireworks altogether. However, I got to enjoy a fireworks festival.
This opportunity came in the form of an event hosted by a company that runs a local coworking space, where participants could watch the fireworks from the rooftop of a four-story building.
It had been such a long time since I’d last seen fireworks that I found myself reflecting on quite a few things, so I decided to organize those thoughts here in this blog post.
Take a look at my beautiful fireworks photos first
In the days leading up to the event, even in the evenings the temperature hovered around 30°C. But on that day, it dropped to 26°C by evening, and the breeze on the rooftop made it possible to for me to enjoy the fireworks without worrying about heatstroke.
Last year, after seeing the photos my brother had taken, I told myself, “Next year I’ll definitely go on my (brother’s) motorbike to watch them.”
It turned out that it didn’t happen in the way I had pictured back then. It was actually more comfortable and fun.
For the 30 minutes of the fireworks display, I experimented with shutter speed, ISO, aperture, and zoom while taking photos.
At first, most of my shots were out of focus — it had been a long time since I last did this — but I gradually got the hang of it. In the last ten minutes or so, I finally managed to capture shots I was happy with. Even in high-speed continuous shooting at ten frames per second, the colors shifted rapidly.
With nothing blocking the view, the powerful sound of the fireworks was incredible.
Watching those huge bursts of light fill the sky, I couldn’t help thinking, “It’s a shame that I’ve missed out on this beauty for more than a decade.”
Of course, there’s a reason I couldn’t attend for so many years.
The reasons I couldn’t go for over a decade
Because of my ME, my body struggles to regulate temperature. I’m prone to heatstroke, and whenever I go out, I quickly feel unwell. Even after I get home, I often have to battle headaches and sickness for days.
Without realizing it, I began to give up on going out altogether.
Even for local fireworks festivals, just imagining how sick I might feel afterward made me afraid to step outside my house.
That’s why I didn’t even feel like trying for more than a decade.
My mindset shifted to wanting to go again
The fear of getting sick while out is still there, though not as strong as before. I still think, “What if I start feeling unwell? What if I can’t stop sweating, or I get sick, or my headache gets unbearable?”
But about two and a half years ago, the fear began to fade, and I started participating in offline events more actively.
I can only manage going out to events in my neighborhood about once every two months, but I have fun with it when I can.
What really changed my mindset and behavior was realizing how much I truly enjoy connecting with people.
Through my activities over the past two and half years, I’ve discovered that the world isn’t only full of “scary people who might attack me” but also full of “people who find joy in helping others.”
Additionally, I launched my own online English school, 【YEC – Yukey’s English Class】in September of last year. Through running the school, I came to genuinely feel that I have the ability to help others. That realization gave me confidence, helped me acknowledge my own worth, and allowed me to feel good about myself for the first time.
In the past, I was always criticizing myself, never feeling satisfied with anything I did.
I also used to either rush into action out of fear or give up on things entirely because of it. This compulsive urge occurs far less often now.
Conclusion
Looking back on this fireworks festival, I can see how much I’ve grown over these past two and a half years.
I want to keep going out more, meeting new people, and growing not only as a person but also as the operator of my own school.
And of course, I hope more people will learn about 【YEC – Yukey’s English Class】 and take English composition correction courses.
↓YEC – Yukey’s English Class Website
*This article is a translation of the Japanese one that I wrote. I had ChatGPT make a translation draft of this blog article.
