There are many things in the world that are perceived to be “common sense” or “normal.” However, sometimes those methods may not work, and may even prove to be harmful, or contraindicated in order to achieve your goal.
In this post I would like to talk about the things that have made my life (as someone who has suffered from ME/CFS for over 25 years) easier once I let go of the misconception that I must always do what is considered to be “normal.”
“Correct” Language Learning Methods
There are a number of study methods that are considered to be most effective in the world of language learners.
I came across several language learning theories such as:
・The belief that the human brain is able to concentrate best in the morning, making it the optimum time for learning new things.
・Language learning is like strength training; that one must do a certain amount of reps (studying) every day or else lose the ability to speak.
・Vocabulary is memorized most efficiently if studied right before sleep, as the brain can store the new information more efficiently.
All of these make sense, and have all been proven to be effective study methods according to the TV programs, Youtube videos, and various books that I have come across.
However, these theories above are not practical for someone with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
I have tried them all only to discover:
・If I study first thing in the morning, I will spend the rest of the day with a terrible headache, brain-fog and extreme fatigue. It will take so much out of me that I will need at least a few days to recover.
・Even a minor, everyday routine that healthy people take for granted can be daunting a task for me. For instance, I can easily get light-headed and/or overheated just from taking a bath, so it is virtually impossible for me to study every day.
・In addition, if I try to memorize vocabulary right before bed, my brain becomes hyperactive, which guarantees my night a sleepless one.
I figured out that it works better if I study for a short time after lunch and dinner because I feel relatively well during those times of day. In addition, I decided to stop studying after 10 p.m. at very latest because it will otherwise significantly affect my sleep.
In my previous post, I wrote that I didn’t study at all for three weeks prior to the Eiken Grade 1 interview exam, the highest level of an English proficiency test in Japan, in November of last year. I didn’t even review on the train heading to Tokyo.
What really worked for me are things that I did in my own way.
Having studied English with ME/CFS for 19 years, I learned that the most important thing is to take care of health and find ways that suit me, rather than blindly believe what is supposed to be right.
I received a TESOL certificate and passed the Eiken Grade 1 last year. I have never enjoyed working as an English teacher more largely thanks to the knowledge I acquired over a long period of time.
Now that I don’t have any imminently upcoming exams, I am having fun improving my English pronunciation to achieve my ultimate goal: speak like a native English speaker.
Love has to be…
Just the other day, I was talking with my mom about how important it is to find my own way to learn English when she said that a relationship is also the same.
She said it’s important to correct misconceptions about a relationship.
I love watching romantic TV shows and movies, reading romance novels and listening to love songs.
Every love story is full of excitement, misunderstandings, jealousy, enemies and obstacles. Once someone gets a broken heart, he or she drags others into the drama.
I used to think that relationships have to be this way or else it would not really be love.
However, it’s physically impossible for me to love someone like that, so I thought for a long time that I cannot love anyone as long as I have ME.
Recently, it suddenly occurred to me that just like language learning methods that were recommended by youtube, books, etc., I may have let TV shows, movies and books influence this idea of love into my mind. (I have watched/read too many romantic TV shows and movies, and books!)
From this new perspective, I looked around and noticed that different couples have different values in their relationship.
I may be able to meet the kind of person I have never had the chance to meet if I let go of my misconceptions about relationships. I may be able to see a world I haven’t seen before.
After this realization, I’m excited to see what is yet to come.
Going Beyond Misconceptions
Truth be told, it takes certain courage to try unorthodox things.
Every attempt at trying something out of the ordinary feels like taking a gamble when you do not know what adverse-effects it may have. It is an especially big gamble for someone with ME, to whom time and energy are especially precious, and can even be a matter of life and death.
…I am not exaggerating. If I make a wrong move, I could get sick and have to spend several days or even weeks in bed.
That is why I try conventional ways that work for many people first before I try different methods.
I will first try out the ideas that are widely believed to be right and methods that work for many people. If I they are not for me, then I’ll try to find a way that works for me.
Free from these preconceptions about life, as I write this article I am excited to see how much I can grow as a person, and what kind of people I can meet in the future.
My English learning journey has been a huge success, so I just can’t wait to see if it works for love as well!
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The original Japanese version of this article>>常識にとらわれなければワクワクがいっぱい【慢性病持ちの勉強法と恋愛について】
